Wednesday, October 26, 2011

My Favorite Books List

Today on Twitter, I connected with a new fan, @UltraLibIan, who listens to my podcast Waking from the American Dream and wanted to know about the books I read. So, here's a list of books that represent my most eclectic mind...my polymind.

Depth psychology:
Memories, Dreams, Reflctions Carl Jung
Boundaries of the Soul: the Practice of Jung’s Psychology June Singer
Ego and Archetyp e Edward F. Edinger
The Soul’s Code James Hillman
Revisioning Psychology James Hillman
We've Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy and the World's Getting Worse James Hllman and Michael Ventura
A Jospeh Campbell Companion Diane K. Osbon
Joseph Campbell/The Power of Myth with Bill Moyers
Truly any book by Joseph Campbell, James Hollis or Robert A. Johnson


Buddhism:
The Book Alan Watts
This is It Alan Watts
The Way of Zen Alan Watts
Wherever you go, There You are Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Miracle of Mindfulness Thich Nhat Hahn
Peace is Every Step Thich Nhat Hahn
Awakening the Buddha Within Lama Surya Das
A Path with Heart Jack Kornfield
Thoughts without a Thinker Mark Epstein
Any book by Pema Chodron

Integral Philosophy:
A Brief History of Everything Ken Wilber
The Integral Vision Ken Wilber
Sex, Ecology, Spirituality Ken Wilber
Integral Psychology Ken Wilber
Spiral Dynamics Don Beck
The Radiance of Being Allan Combs

New Age Thinking:
Quantum Psychology Robert Anton Wilson
The Tao of Physics Fritof Capra
Dancing Wu Li Masters Gary Zukav
The Seat of the Soul Gary Zukav
Das Energi Paul Williams
Illusions Richard Bach

Life Coaching Kind of Stuff:
The Art of Possibility Zander and Zander
Finding Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
Fearless Living Rhonda Britten
Loving What Is Byron Katie
The Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz

Leadership:
Leadership and the New Science Margaret Wheatley
Synchronicity: The Inner Path of Leadership Joseph Jaworski
Leadership and Self-deception The Arbinger Institute
Servant Leadership Robert Greenleaf
Presence Jaworski, Senge, Wheatley and Scharmer
The Fifth Discipline Peter M. Senge
Leadership from the Inside Out Kevin Cashman

Writing/Creativity:
Bird by Bird Anne Lammott
Writing Down the Bones Natalie Goldberg
The Arist Way Julia Cameron
The Right to Write Julia Cameron
Unreliable Truth Maureen Murdock
The War of Art Steven Pressfield
Writing from the Inside Out Dennis Palumbo
Writing for Your Life Deena Metzger
Fearless Creating Eric Maisel
The Heart Aroused David Whyte
Crossing the Unknown Sea David Whyte
If You Want to Write Brenda Ueland
The Writing Life Annie Dillard

History/ Politics/ Social analysis:
The People’s History of the United States Howard Zinn
The Passion of the Western Mind Richard Tarnas
The American Soul Jacob Needleman
The Fourth Turning Strauss and Howe
Conservatives without Conscience John W. Dean
The Lucifer Principle Howard Bloom
The Genius of the Beast Howard Bloom
The Empathic Civilization Jeremy Rifkin

Women’s Issues:
Heroine’s Journey Maureen Murdock
The Hero’s Daughter Maureen Murdock
Women Who Run with the Wolves Clarissa Pinkla Estes
The Goddess Within Woolger and Woolger
Circle of Stones Judith Duerk
Writng a Woman’s Life Carolyn G. Heilbrun
Reinventing Womanhood Carolyn G. Heilbrun
A Voice of One’s Own Perlman/Henderson
A Room of Her Own Virginia Woolf

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Year Three

Today is the third anniversary of my dad's death. In some ways, it feels like I have just begun the grieving process. I've been so busy learning how to be without him - how to represent him in the world now that he is gone, how to represent myself in the world now that he is gone - that I think I forgot to just feel the pain of it all.

I mean, I did feel pain, months and months of it. For awhile it felt like I had no skin. I was a raw, open, vulnerable vessel, and it was impossible. And so for awhile, I self-medicated my way to buffer the suffering. And I'm glad I did. It was too much. But, as we all know, when you delay the pain, that is all you are doing, delaying it. And so now I get to feel it, and that is okay, because I feel like now I CAN feel it, and hold it, and rock it like a baby and tell it, "It'll be okay. You will be okay."

I'm no longer afraid of the pain because I now see that it is my pain, and the more I feel it, the more I feel like myself. I am Kelly. I am a daughter. I am a woman. I am a thinker. I am a feeler. I am a writer. I am here to think and feel and write and share. This is who I am. I can't help it anymore than I could keep my father or mother from death. It is what it is.

This afternoon, I'll be going down to Venice to eat a cheeseburger in honor of my dad and his favorite hole in the wall bar. The memories I have with him and of him, I will stitch together into a little pouch and crawl into to find some warmth this week. And then I will let them echo through me as I step back into the river of life that rushes by and wants to take me along with it. But for a moment, it will be 1972, I will be seven, and my dad and I will be happily eating a cheeseburger enjoying our endless summer together.