So, my clamoring self seems to have settled down a bit today. Some kind of perspective returning; I no longer feel like I am submerged in a muddy hell. And so feeling a bit clearer this morning, I begin to read a newsletter from Carolyn Myss with an essay by Robert Ohotto that got me thinking about what I have been writing about these last few days. Robert seems to have an astrological/archetypal take on this whole, "I don't want to grow up!" thing that I struggle with. His take is that this is not just a personal struggle, but a generational/cosmological one. Whew. I thought maybe I was just stunted.

Robert writes, "...if we are going to collectively begin rebirth ourselves as mature adults. This requires that we begin parenting ourselves such that we rise from the ashes of the generational shadow that the Baby Boomers are negotiating: the Ego-centric Child that seeks constant affirmation, attention, and importance to the detriment of collective resources and the greater good.

...Yet, The Child Archetype and its shadow are something that each individual must face in their development creatively. The Child Archetype is, in part, the source of our creative genius when it comes to being spontaneous and free to express our inner sense of divinity through what we do in life. But unless you are able to make your child inside feel safe and nurtured, how is that part of you going to come out and play?

...In July of 2005, having just spent two and a half years in the sign Cancer making sure we take increased responsibility for mothering ourselves to secure greater emotional security and belonging in our lives (while restructuring our so called ‘family values’); Saturn entered into the astrological sign Leo (a sign resonate with the Child Archetype) and issued a new task for us all in terms of fathering ourselves so that we can bring out more of our inner creative authenticity.

...Thus, when Saturn is moving through the heavens, He begins to search out the fissures in our ego structure that are not supportive to housing a new level of our true potential: a new facet of our Soul. I like to call this alchemical process the dark night of the ego because it forces us to reorient our relationship to how much of us is in unconscious allegiance to our past conditioning—meaning that some part of our ego/past must die.

...On an individual level, since Saturn entered into Leo in July of 2005, I have worked with many clients that have experienced this new alchemy as a call to grow up more, paradoxically, so that they can be a child again and embody their unlived creativity!

...Saturn in Leo demands that we become Kings and Queens of our inner domain, Sovereigns unto ourselves through an authentic connection to our inner star quality, you game?

...Many Baby Boomers are becoming increasingly vested in a new model of thought: It is no longer the collective that is responsible for the individual, but the individual that is responsible for the collective. Something that I think the next generation will be making even more of a reality. That’s what I’m talkin’ about! And so it goes………"

I am not a Baby Boomer. I was born in 1963. But my parent's were, and we all inherit some of our parent's pathologies and shadows. And so I struggle too with all of this.

And so this leads me to a question that seems to be haunting me, one that has been following me around and won't leave my poor soul alone - how do we as a collective, get beyond our narcissistic ego needs to do the real work we need to do this next century? How do we let our child energy play, and face the enormity or what only an adult can face in these crazy times?

More to come, I assure you.