Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Day 8 of 100 Fears in 100 Days

It's one of those days where there feels like no room to add "walking through a fear" to my To Do List. I have writing to do. Some other shit. And then Bob and I are off to a taping of a friend's new show, Paul Provenza's Green Room, late afternoon.

So I ask myself, what is this 100 Fears in 100 Days really about? Is it always about an action? Could it also be about claiming? Shifting? Being with myself in a new way? I will meditate on this today.

Tonight there will be lots of fame and talent and funny in the room and a chance to mix in it. In my past, this was a recipe for feeling invisible. But so much has changed this year around all of this. I have had many opportunities to get comfortable with my own power and place in the world and see behind the curtain I constructed around all of this. I know that the only thing that matters to me is genuine connection to others. The rest is bullshit.

I no longer look at these events as places where I feel I have to prove something to the world about my worth. I only know that I love people - their humanity, their perspectives and their hearts and souls. I also love artists who have a wide audience - I am fascinated how their unique brand resonates for many. And I am especially excited when artists get together to talk amongst themselves about their work, life, the world. So tonight will be fun.

I know tonight will offer me a few opportunities to step over some fears.

A couple of updates:
Will get the MRI later this month.
And I got an email from the literary agent - she has read my essays and liked them a lot, and will read the memoir pages this week!!!
I think I just buried the headline. :)

3 comments:

  1. Kelly you might be full of fears but you surely help me go through mine today. Keep playing big. I believe in you more everyday. Warmly,
    Mr. Sunshine

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  2. You did bury the lead but it wound up as the perfect desert. Lovely blog. Today I let the creative clutter surround me, and I said YES when Clara asked if we could get out the Halloween decorations. That's scary for me!

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  3. I mean dessert. Tonight we walked in the dark. Only one tarantula. Lots of buzz about the new writers group I'm instigating. Have fun Kel - you are awesome.

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